searching for an echo in the hollow of my belly
the place where life began and the decrepit monument to the heathens that bore me stands
shouting questions at clouds that answer with heavy tired snowflakes
waking harvesting the weight on my chest
and crying to kill the lump that lives festers in my throat
wondering how everyday accomplishments are ever given effort
my legs tree trunks that have disowned their rotted roots
praying that my being could curl itself into a ball and watch as my body lived life
listlessly singing, smiling, laughing while fresh showers drown me inside
feeling everyone knows the joke except me
proposterous the idea of the few bright spots i'm blessed with
vile, wretched, base, criminal, felonious to my insides
who hold fast to the memory of good deeds while surrounded by the flesh of a tragic heroin
living in a world where only the strong survive by walking on the backs of the righteous
lingering on that reward will be swift and merciful
clueless to why wrongs magnate themselves to my heart
a broken vessel floating on a sea of dignity awaiting the final plunge
a heart that just needs to be cuddled instead of beaten
falling on tiny spikes that i lay carefully strategically out for myself
crying for the deep dark blood that flows in miniscule streams that carry my fickle soul
ripping shredding tearing out hair psychotically laughing
medicating myself through a sexy stemmed glass with intoxicated pimento pitted olives
flinching in my sober moments awaiting the attack
pleading with myself for mercy and hell
sliding down a hill full of putrid mud clawing for safety
throwing mud in my own mouth
staring at a face angelically flawed eyes averted
wondering what fresh hell just walked in